You may remember the trouble we had with mice a while back and how worried I was about the genocide that took place in our little flat. Well, we’ve had another batch, and I mean “batch”, of mice. So, within a month we caught (and released) 4 (in one night), killed 3, and felt dreadful about it. Things have changed since then. We still have mice, or maybe a mouse, but now we have turned into psycho mice-killers.
Every night we prime traps, just like we used to do with the others we slayed, and every night our devilish little foe takes the yummy bait off of every trap whilst leaving it active!
The little shit has even set one off under our bed without getting caught! It must have been a deliberate display of bravado. He runs by us all the time during the day and night, laughing at us. This is the Scarlet Pimpernel of mice and

he mocks us!

We’re being tortured by the little git. I imagine him standing in the corner of the room, leaning against the wall, eating our bait, and insulting us in a french accent…like the knights in The Holy Grail.
So tonight, our humanity down to the empty mark, we have decided to use a secret weapon: superglue. The traps have the bait glued down and any attempt to liberate it will result in DEATH! Muwhahahahaha! And tomorrow, when we have caught the beautiful little life in our traps of death, I will have no remorse! In fact I may take a picture and display it on this blog, Ceausescu style, to prove that the menace is gone.

Why is this blog like a 21 bus ? Because you can wait two weeks for one and then 6 come at once. Don’t bother reading the others from today – they’re miserable crap.

Even though I’ve published this link already today, here it is again because it’s so funny:
Pray for us Linux users.

It reminded me of a wonderful site from a few years back that explains why Apple and UNIX are actually the lord beelzebub behind a thin guise.

A few more for fun:

• The truth about the bible.
• Ch..ch..ch..changes. From Time Trumpet. Blair vs Cameron.
• What is George Bush’s Job ? Daily Show fun.

4 times now I have received this hilarious, side-splitting, clearly fake picture in my inbox. The front page of the Northampton General Hospital website contains the following announcement:

It’s a hoax!
Many people will have seen a photograph of a sign about family planning services, supposedly located at NGH, that has been ‘doing the rounds’ on the internet. While it gave us a laugh too, we should point out that it is a hoax – the sign does not exist!

Yet still it propagates. A crap fake of a crap joke and it’s now more famous than the pope. In years to come, it will come round again and again and again. Eventually it will become true.

You probably didn’t know about the huge Anti-Bush protests on October 5th either. Hardly surprising as it didn’t make it to the news. I wonder why ?
In fact, if you’ve been watching the news in Britain or America you’d be forgiven for forgetting about the two wars we’re currently engaged in. And if you watch Fox News you could even be forgiven for thinking that nasty little Republican perve Senator Foley was a Democrat.
Nothing the media gets het up about seems to be of the slightest importance, yet meanwhile terrifying things are underway that don’t get a mention. We know all about the two almost identical party conferences that took place over the past few weeks by the two almost identical political parties. We know about posh-spice’s fake tits, we know about plucky mums fighting for their childrens rights to eat shit food and we know about bloody fucking football. But whenever something of substance gets close to the mass media, it gets stifled and the media is happy to comply.
Sometimes it feels very lonely listening to the news because it’s like they’re talking in a different language. We know what’s been going on, but they side step it and start talking about Boris Johnson.
Ramble ramble ramble I know.
But time is passing and we haven’t got any closer to moving to America. It feels like we’re in some weird sort of limbo stasis at the moment and watching America almost complete the move to fascism isn’t helping us feel more secure. The only “comfort” is that England is going the same way, possibly faster. OK, America has its fair share of pig-ignorant, in-bred, rabid, loonies but the UK has quite a few too. The lumpen masses in both countries are convinced that they’re going to get blown up by a terrorist bomb any day, and are more worried about muslims and polish immigrants than the systematic removal of rights and freedoms that’s currently underway. Right this isn’t going anywhere…sorry.

Some cheery things:

• Alex is getting married and having babies! which is weirding me out and making me smile a lot.
• It’s my mum’s birthday today and my sister is cooking…is that a good thing ?
• We’re going to Philadelphia for a wedding in a couple of weeks. And this time we’re not flying US Air and we’re flying direct! WOOHOO!
• I’ve been in touch with a bunch of people I haven’t seen for ages recently.
• We’ve had a lot of quality flock time recently.

The end of September has arrived and with it a huge cloud of fresh-faced, excited, youthful, happy, optimistic, bastard students. The air is full of hormones and the neverending sound of joyful laughter – I can’t stand it.

On Sunday, while I was in the laundry, I heard a young couple chatting. I doubt they even liked each other but the fearful, nervous, excitement resulted in them both laughing at whatever the other one said in an almost maniacal way; no matter what the topic of conversation.
“It’s like some sort of erm…shop or something here isn’t it ?”
“HAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Yeah! Exactly!”
“Let’s go over there!”
“HAHAHHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAA! OK Yeah! Hey we could go in the garden!”
“HAHAHAHHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yeah! Or down the pub!”
“HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAHAHAHHAHHAH Yeah! Excellent!”

I like it all really – it’s just a bit of a reminder that another year has passed and we’re still in this poxy “temporary” flat…nice though it is in reality.

Work has slowly been building up towards a crescendo of stress. Today was another boss day where the bubble bursts…only to refill for a bigger bubble next week.

But at this time of night, listening to some crap music, and writing my blog whilst Michele and Humphrey sleep soundly in the next room, it all seems really mellow.

In celebration of passing the 500 mark on this blog I went to Lewisham hospital this morning for a couple of biopsies – almost certainly nothing serious, I think the guy was more curious than anything else. Lewisham Hospital, or rather “Lewisham University Hospital Trust”, has, like every other former public body, succumbed to Marketing Psychosis; a curious disease that renders the sufferer incapable of distinguishing between reality and a TV advert. Throughout the clean and polished reception area are 5ft glossy banners, each depicting a loyal member of staff or a grateful patient, together with the caption “Choose Lewisham”…in one of those dreadfully tacky handwritingy typefaces.
Nobody chooses Lewisham Hospital do they ? Surely it depends where you collapse, get knocked-down, get stabbed, or where your GP sends you doesn’t it ? Maybe not! Next time I’m in need of hospitalisation, no matter where in the world I am, I’ll make sure to tell the paramedic that I “Choose Lewisham”. Perhaps they should introduce a loyalty card, that they can put little red stamps on every time you get wounded or referred there. They could have a little catalogue of products you can exchange your Lewisham points for, from Witch Hazel to an electric wheelchair.

Two injections and a few stitches later I was on the 136 heading back home. It seems that not just the hospital, but the whole of Lewisham has Marketing Psychosis – very contagious obviously. Barclays bank have given over their entire front window to a huge blue arrow and the words “The coolest people in the world walk through our doors”. And it would seem that it’s not the only example of grip-loss going on at Barclays. Maybe we should try and section the bank manager there ?
But the Pièce de résistance was adorning front of the, recently closed down, “Money Shop”. Closed down because it is relocating to larger premises – at least someone is benefitting from the poor and desperate in Lewisham. “The Money Shop” which is where you go to cash your magic cheques, even if you have no money in your bank account (for a ludicrously high fee, natch) is genuinely advertising itself using pictures of naked woman, waving fans of £20 notes at you! Look! Naked ladies! Free money! Come in! MONEY! NUDE LADIES! You couldn’t make it up….etc ad nausiam…

BTW – I wrote a huge and depressing chunk about aging and decrepitude, but I took it out – you don’t deserve to sit through that.

A beautiful diagram that cleary describes how American tax-dollars are divvied out is available at http://thebudgetgraph.com/.

Despite my initial enthusiam for my last Belkin ADSL router the excitement soon turned sour and over the past year I’ve expended too much energy in swearing at it, resetting it and returning it to the shop.

So yesterday I decided to treat myself to a new router and got a web-price on a Linksys WAG54GS because:

• I quite like linksys kit
• Linksys is now owned by Cisco
• It supposedly runs Linux which would make me feel a lot more comfortable about its reliability

It’s small, simple, worked perfectly out of the box, the firmware is GPL and freely available(!), and best of all it can even give you a shell!
To enable the shell you just go to http://192.168.x.y/setup.cgi?todo=debug
and then you can telnet in and get dumped into a nice busybox root shell.

It’s Linux! It’s got a nice file system, /proc full of fun stuff and the firewalling is iptables! Now, to most people this is not going to matter or be of the slightest interest, but to me this is not only essential – if I don’t have the source I don’t trust the software – but it makes me worryingly excited. If the web front end doesn’t do what you want, you can do it yourself!

As the kids say, “W00t!”

They really need different packaging for different target audiences. The package it came in is covered in pointless logos and vague marketing language like “SPEEDBOOSTER(tm)”, “125 Signal Rate”, “35% FASTER” which is clearly aimed at the regular dullard gamer kids who see bigger numbers as better. They need a separate package for geeks that is just plain white with a list of specs and a “runs Linux” banner. And then for the vast majority terrified home users who know nothing and just want to get on the net, a nice picture of Rolf Harris stroking a recuperating kitten.

Here’s a short interview with Gore Vidal on how America has changed since 9/11.
Recorded for the BBC Today programme on 2006-09-11.

Not since the death of the Di has there been such a huge global reaction as that to news of Steve Irwin’s stingray encounter. OK, no public flower madness and the TV schedule hasn’t been buggered up quite as much but for the last couple of days, every time I meet someone, the conversation invariably starts with “did you hear about Steve Irwin”, followed by a few “crikey” jokes.
But what really drove it home to me was the Internet reaction. My favourite way of wasting time is looking at the latest 30 pictures uploaded to Livejournal as, apart from anything else, it is a great weather vane of viral content. On the day Irwin died, each reload produced multiple pictures of him, either in one of his classic “Crikey” poses or photoshopped in some way: people are really quick off the mark with that stuff. By the mid morning (UK time) there were even animated GIFs of him with a stingray… Clearly he was a global phenomonen – possibly more than he knew. Funny old world; the constant news of massacres in the middle east seems like background noise to most people, but when an Australian, who spends his entire life taunting the most dangerous animals on the planet, gets killed by a dangerous animal, everybody’s interested.

For more stinging barbs, why not watch this rather excellent 5 minute rant from George Carlin on who really controls America. Bill Hicks would be proud.