Piracy is rife, and as a result the world is full of war, hate, floods and famine. If it wasn’t for those evil pirates selling low-price DVDs, CDS and free MP3s to the younger generation we’d all be happy as larry and living happy, fulfilling, lives.

You know what else is wrong with the world ? Bloody Political Correctness! Luckily, the world has Michael Howard and the Tory party, who manage to shock all of the Lefties out of hating New Labour quite as much as they normally do, by standing up in public and suggesting that the Police should abandon “PC” in favour of “proper policing”. Yes, nowadays the Police can’t just beat up black people on the street without having to give them a written report of why they did it. Oh hold on, didn’t the police have to do that anyway ?…never mind, at least all these POLITICALLY CORRECT laws (like criminal trials/needing a reason to stop and search/not being able to beat the crap out of people because their eyes are too close together) are on the way out. Thanks Mr Howard. And thanks Mr Blair who will surely steal these groundbreaking ideas by next week.

Nominet is a bureaucratic cess-pit. More on that tomorrow.

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