A colleague called me today, after I returned from a late lunch, and told me in a stern voice that she wanted to come and see me, because she had to tell me something. I assumed I was to be shown the aftermath of some cock-up or other I must have made with their server…
When she arrived and presented me with a bottle of Bushmills 10 yr old malt you can imagine how my whole perspective on the day suddenly changed. How nice when someone says “thank you”. All the more so when they get a bottle of your favourite whisky too. What a nice thing. And what a superb experience drinking it is. Even though I didn’t get the wonderful metallic scratchy sound of a screw-top lid, instead I had the satisfying pop of the cork releasing that complex golden smell…

It has recently come to my attention that there is a serious paucity of hate sites for that obnoxious wanky twat Vernon Kay. We are all responsible for this, and as a result of our lack of action, the vacuous bastard is EVERYWHERE. T4/C4/R1/BBC3 ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGH! Get that desperate, grinning arsehole off my telly! Thank god for Monkey Dust.