Landlord Scum

Michele managed to pluck up enough courage to tell me about an upcoming event concerning our accomodation. She didn’t want to tell me about it because any news related to Landlords and Estate agents makes the veins on my head start throbbing with anger. Room 101 is waiting for me and it contains a massive van der graff generator (what is the name of the phobia of static electricity ?), two estate agents, a clothes shop and an imminent visit from room 101’s landlord.
Michele was told that our landlady was coming over from Germany in July to look into the possibility of having a loft conversion. “Oh no, are we going to have to move out ?” Michele asked the Estate Agent slug.
“Oh no – nothing like that” the liar replied.
Oh well that’s alright then. Obviously what it must be is that our landlady is concerned we don’t have enough space and is going to give us a few extra rooms for no extra rent. And while the work is going on she’ll probably put us up in a 5-star hotel so it doesn’t interfere with our lifestyles too much.

So what do we do ? Buy a place in London ? Hmm well I could buy a shoebox in peckham on my wages…but then I could drive nails into my eyes instead and it wouldn’t cost a penny.
We could rent another place….but I’d rather eat my own shit.
So that only leaves buying a place in Philadelphia…but that’s scary and involves me leaving my job and my “hood”. Oh dear.


Oh well. The sun’s out and the outrageous humidity is now fading leaving beautiful weather. Humphrey has been getting more friendly and even came out of his cage for a wander….and then let himself back in using the ladder we bought him. Red wine in the sunset – it’s not all bad is it ?

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