Apple Computer: What drugs are you on ?

Apple Computer: What drugs are you on ?

Sadly I suspect the answer is ‘coffee’. That can be the only explanation for the massive mood-swings from which you seem to be suffering. Perhaps a course of psychotropics would sort out your heads. Or perhaps some Lithium ?

One minute you’re a bunch of friendly, creative techies who just want to make their loyal users lives better. Then suddenly you’re a corporate monster that makes Microsoft look like Christain Aid.

Here are some examples:
Apple: Hey man, we’ve put an Open Source Unix variant in our new OS and anyone can download it work on it and play with it. We just want to make you happy.
Users: Nice one! This looks great! Powerful and Stable. I can’t wait to upgrade my OS9 machine.
Apple: Upgrade ? Fuck you there’s no upgrade – buy it you cheap fucks.
Users: Oh ok. Sorry. Well after all at least I’m not giving my money to Bill Gates – at least Apple is on our side.
Apple: Yeah man – Don’t follow the breadhead fascists at Redmond – they’re like the man. Come with us! Look, see how all of the buttons look like jellybeans ?
Users: Yeah they look cool. Oh hold on, this doesn’t work properly. Oh neither does this. Hmm, or this.
Apple: Tough shit! You think writing this sort of OS is easy ? You ungrateful bastards. Keep using 9 if that’s the way you feel. Oh by the way, we’re dropping support for that soon. HAH!
Users: but…but…but…
Apple: Hey, don’t panic! 10.1 has fixed most of those bugs and we’ve got all sorts of cool extras like LDAP support and SMB is working nicely! Loads of people have been carbonising their apps so that all your favourites will work natively!
Users: Yay! where do I sign up for the upgrade ?
Apple: Fuck you! You want it, you pay the full price. Oh and it’s gone up too. You people make us sick!

etc ad nauseam

Apple – your biggest asset is a massive, blikeredly loyal, customer base who would continue buying your products even if they didn’t work at all. Even they will get pissed off and go elsewhere if you carry on like this.

Tim evicted! Sadly he appears to be too stupid to realise why everyone hates him…and it’s not because he’s “older than his years”…COMPRAAAAWNDEZ ?

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