Work has been particularly annoying this week, culminating in a busy and stressful Friday. In my book that’s just not on, and the end of the tether is within groping distance. Sadly, and as much as I’d like it to be the case, MegaCorp are not entirely to blame. Significantly, but not totally.
So tonight when I got home at 7pm, leaving many of my colleagues enthusiastically grafting in the office, complete with communal pizza, whiskey, and the Dunkirk spirit, imagine my joy to find a letter from the HMRC [for the uninitiated, this is the UK organisation of Tax Bastards] waiting for me on my favourite chair. So, I drank some more, ate a crab-cake, sat down, pumped up the tunes, and ripped open the envelope. Even if it was a bill, I’m 3000 miles away.
It’s safe to say that I have never had good news in a letter from the revenue…until this evening! It was only a letter telling me that they’ve credited my account with a substantial amount of cash! In fact, once converted to the pathetic currency of the US, it’s enough to make me consider dangerous options such as leaving a chod on my work desk and fucking off. It even caused me to do a little dance!
Of course, I’ll spend this weekend doing work as before, and I’ll work on Monday, but it’s nice to know that it’s optional.
No longer can I deal with tedious office stress. It’s quite simple: all I want to do with my life is spend most of it with Michele and parrots, in a place with a roof and internet access, and be able to go outside regularly. Red wine and nice cheese would be a welcome bonus, as would eating out. But that’s it. No cars, posh furniture, jewelry, or gold, just peace and quiet with Michele, parrots, and some intellectual stimulation. That’s not much to ask is it ?
MegaCorp, and most other employers for that matter, expect their employees to be not only satisfied with dedicating their lives to “The Firm”, but they also expect you to be grateful!
The most significantly significant moment for me this week was during our first “team building” meeting [yeah really]. The CEO was explaining a bunch of things about our relationship with MegaCorp since the take-over. Personally I found it genuinely fascinating, and not the least bit surprising. He ended his talk with a sentence that illustrated exactly why I feel like I’m in the wrong place:
“I mean, we all want ******[MegaCorp’s] stock price to increase!”
Well, no! I don’t! In fact I get a considerable amount of pleasure from watching their share price crumble. I want them to fail. Even if it resulted in all of their employees losing their jobs (which it wouldn’t) I genuinely believe it would benefit more people on this planet in the long run. No, I won’t try to justify that statement 🙂
Back to parrots. It turns out we have three of the loveliest parrots that ever lived. Each has a personality as beautiful as their feathers; and let me tell you the feathers are pretty bloody beautiful!
More about our fluffy companions another time.