What one hand giveth, the other hand taketh away

In previous blogs I have mentioned how lovely my comical bank, SMILE, is to me. They recently rejected a loan application unless I was prepared to give up my credit card. I pointed out that they can fuck right off, and so yesterday they sent me two “secure messages”. The first one was to let me know that instead of cancelling my card they would be prepared to reduce the credit limit on it by a grand. Fine. The second was an automated message explaining that the Master Control Program had deemed me worthy to have my credit limit increased by a thousand pounds. This was clearly issued by their Department of Irony.

Eurostar RMT workers went on strike today. The management and the media have been saying that no services were disrupted. Bob “no-one likes us we don’t care” Crow says they’re lying. Either way, the smug self-satisfied expressions on the suited bald management twats who were scabbing on the front-line reminded me of a sequence from Michael Moore’s first film: Roger and Me.
After GM moved out of their seeding ground in search for higher profits, the town collapsed into miserable poverty, with crime, drug abuse and homelessness the vogue. GM, in a fit of philanthropy, responded by investing a considerable sum of money…so that flint could build a new private prison, to incarcerate the new generation of law-breakers. On the opening night of the new prison, all of Flint’s great and good, paid for a “night in prison”, where they all had a gourmet meal, a dance and, hilariously, all wore cartoon-style prison costume. How they enjoyed themselves!
I wonder if they were expected to crap in buckets, get fucked up the arse by a serial killer or hang themselves in their cells ?

Who(m) do I hate most: Bush, Blair or Michael Howard ? A Trick question! Of course I hate them all!
So it’s most amusing to see the WhiteHouse ban Michael Howard because he criticised Blair’s decision to invade Iraq. I can just imagine Tory HQ phoning the Whitehouse saying “No, you don’t understand! Of course we support you Mr Bush. It’s just Blair we oppose! If we’d have been in power, of course we’d have supported you! We were only obeying orders! We’re your friends, not Labour! They’re all commies!”

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