Our Deputy Prime Minister seems to be slowly turning into Roy “Chubby” Brown. When he’s not rogering his secretary, punching protestors in the face, playing cowboys with American businessmen, commenting on the environment from the back of one of his Jags, or playing croquet, he occasionally finds time to discuss world affairs and illuminates us all with his insightful thoughts using his trademark, colourful, working-man’s language. So John, what do you think of that George Bush then ? “Well he’s crap isn’t he”…

This man should not be Deputy Prime Minister, he should be Prime Minister! It would be wonderful! Like some sort of liberal Nosher Powell. For the first time since Margaret Thatcher we would be goverened by someone who speaks their mind. No more would we have to cringe as we watch our supremo fetching sticks thrown by Bush, or wonder what is really going on in his mind; he would tell us in terms we can all understand. And what a wonderful statesman he’d make; any crap from the foreign johnnies and he’d be right in there and clump them – that’ll be the end of that.