Tonight is “Guy Fawkes” night or as it should be known, “Catholic Burning Night”. This is where we celebrate the foiling of a catholic plot to destroy parliament and the king by burning effigies of guy fawkes, or if you live in Lewis, the pope.

Of course, in this day and age no-one takes it quite so seriously and all religions, beliefs and creeds are invited to join in the fun. It’s now simply an excuse for three fun-filled weeks of deafening bangs and screams as children throw explosives at each other. If you really want to burn an effigy then why not have a Burning Bush?

Yet again, Michele and I blew out a couple of promising parties in order to spend the night in with Humph. Halloween was enjoyable nonetheless because, despite trashing our beautiful pumpkin the night before, we got quite a few trick-or-treaters. The kids are really, really into it. They turn up in bunches with parents in tow and when you answer the door they jump out and make scary noises, barely able to contain their excitement. Michele had thoughtfully bought some Milky-bars and chewing gum which we both thought would make excellent “treats”. Michele was looking out of the window while I answered the door so that she could see the costumes. As one set of ghoulies departed she heard a mother repremand one of the witches saying “Be thankful for what you got. You should be grateful you got anything a all”. What do these kids expect ? A full-size chocolate broomstick each ? Perhaps a 6 ft plastic zombie full of Sunny D ? Ungrateful gits – I wish I’d eaten all the milky bars myself now.

An aside…I’m watching TOTP2 and some bland looking, bland voiced bland singer called “Mindy” is doing a bland version of “Jolene”. Why ? Leave it alone. Jolene is a superb song and really doesn’t need fucking up by some generic ponce. Dolly Parton is featured in the video and looks great..albeit with heavy video enhancements. A better singer, better looking and with some soul. See the difference ? She sings from the heart. Mindy sings from nose.

More later…