What is Hell like ?
In Hell you are always too hot – there is no refuge from the heat, no way to cool down, no way to feel comfortable. You think you can bear it no longer, but you have no choice – the heat continues forever. Every drop of water is tepid, every breeze is warm and Hell-mart has perpetually sold out of air-conditioners.
Everyone has a chest infection that keeps them coughing and restricts their breathing, while sinus infections keep heads feeling ready to explode. Beacuse you feel so lousy, all you can do is lie about, whinging and watching daytime television…
Alright, you get the picture, I’m still feeling crappy after a tortuous weekend of overheated misery I’m off work. Many people may consider that taking a monday off work the day after the hottest day EVER in Britain was a tad dodgy. But believe me I would much rather be sitting in an ice-cold puddle in the rain, than be sitting in this humid, sweaty, posionous smog. So would my lungs. We have 1, 12-inch fan that is doing a sterling job, considering how it is now running on good will and vaseline…but not good enough. Michele went out to buy another fan, and just got laughed at. In fact, the woman in Agros told her that they hadn’t run out of fans, they just weren’t stocking them because, and I’m not making this up, they’re now on their winter catalogue. What a great business strategy that is. The hottest August ever on record, and all you can get from Argos are some woolly undies, an electric fan heater, and a cardie – although the latter would probably be useful to mop up the puddles of arse-sweat I’m leaving around the house.
…oh yes…I nearly forgot…the heavy, heavy depression. I don’t know whether it was one of the many infections, the weather or just the daytime television, but my illness has been accompanied by total despair and a feeling of hopelessness I haven’t felt for a long time. Thanks for that God – it really helped.