Letting the services know

Being a couple of lazy arsed (assed), procrastinators, we’ve left it until the 11th hour to organise cancelling phone lines and altering bank details for the move. Here is a break down of how easy each task was. Can you spot the odd one out ?

Task Time taken Description
Notifying [credit card company] of our new address. 2 minutes Called their number, negotiated their irritating but functional AVR system, changed our address.
Notifying [credit card company] of our new address. 2 minutes Call their free number, tell the guy, all sorted.
Notifying our banks of our new address. 3 minutes Call “Smile”, ask them, they advise sending a secure message via the website and will happily change the details on both the smile and co-op accounts. I login and send a message.
Notify our TV rental company that we’re moving and arrange for them to collect the gear. 2 minutes Call them, answer the security questions, get it all sorted for Friday.
Arrange for our BT phone line to be cut off. Around an hour
  • Call 150.
  • Negotiate their menu system.
  • Get put in a queue for around 5 minutes.
  • Get put through to someone who asks if we have BT broadband and receive an incomprehensible monologue from him.
  • Get put on hold while I’m transferred to god knows where.
  • Wait 25 minutes and 6 seconds.
  • Start losing the will to live and decide to hang up.
  • Hang up and redial 150.
  • Negotiate their menu system.
  • Get put through to a friendly chap who asks for my account number, which I don’t have.
  • Fail to reason with him about authenticating me via other means and he hangs up mid sentence.
  • Shout random obscenities which scares the parrot.
  • Call a human at BT and offload all of my stresses to the poor sod before realising he’s just the switchboard guy.
  • Arrange for a callback.
  • Go upstairs to try and find an old BT phone bill that may contain an account number.
  • Fail because we’re using direct debit.
  • Get back downstairs as Michele is talking to the callback girl.
  • Get really uptight and offload to the girl.
  • Get told to stop shouting.
  • Get so angry I can’t talk, which calms us both down.
  • Get authenticated by other means, which the guy before said couldn’t be done.
  • Arrange for the line to be turned off.
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