Monthly Archives: October 2006

We squeak him here, we squeak him there

You may remember the trouble we had with mice a while back and how worried I was about the genocide that took place in our little flat. Well, we’ve had another batch, and I mean “batch”, of mice. So, within a month we caught (and released) 4 (in one night), killed 3, and felt dreadful about it. Things have changed since then. We still have mice, or maybe a mouse, but now we have turned into psycho mice-killers.
Every night we prime traps, just like we used to do with the others we slayed, and every night our devilish little foe takes the yummy bait off of every trap whilst leaving it active!
The little shit has even set one off under our bed without getting caught! It must have been a deliberate display of bravado. He runs by us all the time during the day and night, laughing at us. This is the Scarlet Pimpernel of mice and

he mocks us!

We’re being tortured by the little git. I imagine him standing in the corner of the room, leaning against the wall, eating our bait, and insulting us in a french accent…like the knights in The Holy Grail.
So tonight, our humanity down to the empty mark, we have decided to use a secret weapon: superglue. The traps have the bait glued down and any attempt to liberate it will result in DEATH! Muwhahahahaha! And tomorrow, when we have caught the beautiful little life in our traps of death, I will have no remorse! In fact I may take a picture and display it on this blog, Ceausescu style, to prove that the menace is gone.

Why is this blog like a 21 bus ? Because you can wait two weeks for one and then 6 come at once. Don’t bother reading the others from today – they’re miserable crap.

Deliver us from evil

Even though I’ve published this link already today, here it is again because it’s so funny:
Pray for us Linux users.

It reminded me of a wonderful site from a few years back that explains why Apple and UNIX are actually the lord beelzebub behind a thin guise.

A few more for fun:

Internet reality

4 times now I have received this hilarious, side-splitting, clearly fake picture in my inbox. The front page of the Northampton General Hospital website contains the following announcement:

It’s a hoax!
Many people will have seen a photograph of a sign about family planning services, supposedly located at NGH, that has been ‘doing the rounds’ on the internet. While it gave us a laugh too, we should point out that it is a hoax – the sign does not exist!

Yet still it propagates. A crap fake of a crap joke and it’s now more famous than the pope. In years to come, it will come round again and again and again. Eventually it will become true.

Dull Ramble

You probably didn’t know about the huge Anti-Bush protests on October 5th either. Hardly surprising as it didn’t make it to the news. I wonder why ?
In fact, if you’ve been watching the news in Britain or America you’d be forgiven for forgetting about the two wars we’re currently engaged in. And if you watch Fox News you could even be forgiven for thinking that nasty little Republican perve Senator Foley was a Democrat.
Nothing the media gets het up about seems to be of the slightest importance, yet meanwhile terrifying things are underway that don’t get a mention. We know all about the two almost identical party conferences that took place over the past few weeks by the two almost identical political parties. We know about posh-spice’s fake tits, we know about plucky mums fighting for their childrens rights to eat shit food and we know about bloody fucking football. But whenever something of substance gets close to the mass media, it gets stifled and the media is happy to comply.
Sometimes it feels very lonely listening to the news because it’s like they’re talking in a different language. We know what’s been going on, but they side step it and start talking about Boris Johnson.
Ramble ramble ramble I know.
But time is passing and we haven’t got any closer to moving to America. It feels like we’re in some weird sort of limbo stasis at the moment and watching America almost complete the move to fascism isn’t helping us feel more secure. The only “comfort” is that England is going the same way, possibly faster. OK, America has its fair share of pig-ignorant, in-bred, rabid, loonies but the UK has quite a few too. The lumpen masses in both countries are convinced that they’re going to get blown up by a terrorist bomb any day, and are more worried about muslims and polish immigrants than the systematic removal of rights and freedoms that’s currently underway. Right this isn’t going anywhere…sorry.

Some cheery things:

  • Alex is getting married and having babies! which is weirding me out and making me smile a lot.
  • It’s my mum’s birthday today and my sister is cooking…is that a good thing ?
  • We’re going to Philadelphia for a wedding in a couple of weeks. And this time we’re not flying US Air and we’re flying direct! WOOHOO!
  • I’ve been in touch with a bunch of people I haven’t seen for ages recently.
  • We’ve had a lot of quality flock time recently.