Testicles and Asylum

Firstly, I wish to apologise to Kate, the person who in a previous bolog convinced me of something totally ridiculous – that there are people in Argentina who castrate sheep with their teeth. It turns out she wasn’t joking – they really do bite the bollocks off sheep. How do I know ? I’ve seen the pictures…and it made me feel very uncomfortable, and slightly nausiated. Sorry for doubting you Kate, but come on, you must admit it does sound unlikely….


Tonight BBC 1 had a new reality TV game show where you could vote for or against a asylum seekers. Sadly they couldn’t swing it so that the general population’s decision was final because that would have given it the edge it was sadly lacking. Instead the cases have already been decided and all we could do was compare our results with what the “experts” decided.
To make it more interesting there were panels of people who would also vote and either support or enrage the viewer. The panels consisted of

  1. Former Asylum seekers
  2. Legal Experts
  3. Middle England
  4. Anachronistic Gary-Bushell-style neo-nazis

So what did we learn ? Well not very much. In summary:

  • The british public are very stupid
  • The asylum seekers tended to support other asylum seekers
  • the nationalists were even more odious than we imagined possible

One of the ex-seekers, a stunning turkish girl is now my hero for managing to put the dialetical Doc-Martin into the Gary-Busshells whilst smiling all the way. Nice one girl. The only other person to stand out was a vicar who was actually really sound…but then again he was probably a gay, paedophile, leftie so he doesn’t count. Interestingly the Littlejohns had several different arguments they could apply to just about any situation. Firstly if the story sounded unlikely then obviously it’s a rejection. But if it sounded believable, it might not be brutal enough to justify entering Britain…rejection again. Finally if it was believable and brutal, then why come all the way to England when there are plenty of other countries between Africa/Eastern Europe/South America and here. Why can’t they try all the other first ? eh ? Why come over here and nick our jobs and NHS beds ? Let Pakistan take em…rejection again. Needless to say they rejected all of the contestants.
At the end of the program I was foaming at the mouth and feeling very glad that I haven’t been given any sort of political power because I would turn into a total dictator. All asylum seekers, immigrants and anyone really would be welcomed into Vegworld. Even if they said they’d come here to leech off the state. Good on you sirs. Have our money. We’d only spend it on killing people who are threatening the financial interests of the rich otherwise. Go and buy yourself some food. You see it’s very, very simple. As Ghandi [supposedly] said “There’s enough in the world for everyone’s need, but not for everyone’s greed.”

“So you think if we stopped letting asylum seekers in, the NHS would be back working again and we’d all be happy ?” Asked my new hero to a pensioner in the Moseley group. “Don’t be ridiculous” they responded. Indeed.
There really are enough resources to end poverty and hunger, with a bit left over for a curry a week and a pint or two. The problem is that Bill Gates and Rupert Murdoch have them all.
So why don’t the lamebrains get as angry with the leeching-rich-fatcats as they do with the asylum seekers ? Well Michele answered that by quoting one of her social-policy texts. The gist of it was that it’s far harder to cope with someone seemingly getting something for nothing, than it is to cope with someone being extremely rich.


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