Terminal tossery

If I were a solipsist, it would be easy to believe that Bono’s place on this Earth was solely to consistently amaze ME with the purity of his odiousness. But I’m not, and so he must actually be that odious of his own volition.

Now, in recent times, despite being nothing more than a painful, obnoxious, fissure on the anus of music, he has managed to amass wanker points by clinging to and emphasising the whole stadium rock-band image that he and that pillock with the stupid hat, name, and effects-pedal, have been trying to live since before the concept actually died out.

Really, who actually enjoys, likes, or even listens to that bland, accessible, clichéd music U2 churn out? Even more bizarre is the question of who buys it? Worse still, who are these armies of cretins who pay to see them in concert?

OK, there will be a handful of people who cling on to the memories of U2 as the spokespeople of an oppressed nation, but there can’t be more than 30 of them left by now, so who are these other loons that crowd out the stadium? Are they real people? Perhaps they’re just UMG automatons employed to scream at the sight of a crap-talking dwarf, in sunglasses, in the dark, backed by some 80 year old in a woolly hat who plucks guitar strings into a digital delay?

Now, until today I thought I couldn’t hate everything that Bono did any more than I did already. But now he has extended his evil tentacles of wrongness to the issue of “illegal downloads”. You’d think that after spending 30 years sucking Satan’s cock, Bono would probably fancy a glass of water by now, but no. He keeps on gagging, and now he’s proclaiming that ISPs are responsible for killing the music industry. Would that be the same industry that is keeping you in your outrageously ostentatious lifestyle?

By a bizarre twist of fate, I now work in the music industry, and as a result I’m surrounded by music industry people. Every story I’d ever heard about what a prodigal pit of corruption and evil turns out to be wrong; it’s far worse than those stories claim. So, the fact that it’s now suffocating under the pressure of independent and fringe artists being able to sell their music directly to the fans without having to buy loads of cocaine, prostitutes, and yachts, for the middle-men is a good thing isn’t it ?
OK it’ll probably mean an end to the gazillionaire rock/rap starts in massive palaces…but again, that’s a good thing isn’t it?


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