King of Bollocks

It’s becoming quite obvious that I will die crossing First Avenue, at the hands of the road builders of King of Prussia. And that is just what they intended. They want to kill pedestrians. It makes sense from a business perspective:

  • If you don’t come in a car, then your ability to buy is limited by what you can carry home.
  • If you’re getting there on the bus, you’re probably working here and so don’t count.
  • Pedestrians are Communists.
  • You’re a fag.
  • Pavements are expensive.
  • Only faggots walk.
  • Faggot, queer, faggot. Queer.

Now, I’m not disputing the quality of these arguments, but even Frogger had streetlights. Every evening I have to cross an unlit highway full of impotent, uptight, Jersey drivers, who don’t understand physics. It’s only a matter of time before I’m killed.

Love to you in the meantime.


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