During my previous employ, the local bank, who were also owned by our company, invited themselves in to see us all and try to flog some bank accounts while they were there. They brought bagels and ran a competition to win an iPod shittle, which I was lucky enough to win. What I neglected to mention in my previous post was that the bank manager pleaded with me to open an account “in return” for winning the iPod. Now, on reflection, I realise the correct and appropriate response should have been “Fuck Off”, but I genuinely pitied the pathetic little man. And anyway, what harm could it do to have another account ?

Six months or so later, I am currently doing my best to avoid any contact with that company, on account of their close alignment with Beelzebub and his army of evil demons. They don’t have our current address, they only have the address of my in-laws where we lived at the time. But recently they have been calling daily, which obviously became quite tiresome. So, I investigated and decided to close the account and sever the last link to the bastards. To cut a long story short, I was overdrawn because:

1. They had charged me for not using the account.
2. This had taken me into a non approved overdraft, for which I was fined.
3. Not thinking about this pointless account, which I had set up out of pity, I hadn’t paid the fine.
4. So I was fined even more.
5. Repeat the last two steps.

So I called their evil automated corporate-fascist system and pressed random keys until the computer gave up and put me through to a human. In the end, there are two things that came of of this experience everyone should know:

Any bank charges you are given will be canceled if you insist.

All banks are cunts.