Did you know that for as little as 30 quid you could own a pair of unbelievably fashionable pieces of cheap moulded plastic that you could, if you so desired and didn’t have functional sweat glands, put on your feet ?

A company called “Crocs” (not at all a contraction of “crock of shit”) has managed to do what I’ve always wanted to do and sell massively overpriced crap to gullible people whilst taking the piss out of them.

See those holes in the front of the shoe ? Aha! Fooled you! They’re not holes at all! According to the Crocs website, these are an “advanced toe-box ventilation system!” I’m not making that up BTW – check it out.

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