Imagine for a second that you were the dictator of a vast country with loads of cash to hand and the knowledge that your subjects were so scared of you that you could pretty much set fire to them and make them jump though the air with a smile on their faces. Then imagine you were asked to host the Olympics and in doing so impress the world. How would you do it ?

Well, if you were unlucky enough to watch any of the opening ceremony this evening you will know the answer. To be honest, it was a pretty easy question. The answer is, of course: force thousands and thousands of chinamen to smile and dance about and spend a disgusting amount of money on pyrotechnics and electricity. Obviously, you can raise the money needed by “asking” the thousands of chinamen to give up their homes, lives and anything you bloody well feel like they should give up.

Yes, the sight of thousands of chinamen dancing in exactly the same way with glow sticks is an amazing sight; you don’t see that every day! But if you were a dictator in a country containing millions of chinamen it would be a simple matter to get them all to dance for you.

In preparation for this “inspiring world event” lots of really nasty shit occurred including:

• People being kicked out of their houses so that they could be destroyed without being given compensation
• Thousands of people had to be called upon to help clear a virulent algae
• People being laid off work so that the factories in which they slaved stopped producing nasty chemical waste that would have caused Bejing to fail the environment cleanliness test.

But this is nothing special compared to the stuff the Chinese government does on a normal daily basis – you knew that of course, as do we all. You don’t have to remind “the free world” about communist China’s appalling human-rights record. Even George “Waterboard” Bush felt the need to castigate China for their policy torture (that must have pissed them off). Of course, a civilised country like America would never mistreat human beings – that’s what Cuba and Syria are for.

So, it should be no surprise to see how extravagant the ceremony was. Of course it was, and of course it involved millions of compliant chinamen. Did you expect anything else ?
But what we should really be looking at is what’s between the lines. All of the good capitalist advertisers paying stupid amounts of cash to get mentioned inbetween the flaming chinamen. My personal favourite is McDonalds who placed their “Golden Arches” on a red background in homage to the hammer and sickle. I’m sure some people on the board responsible for this commercial found it funny even. It isn’t funny. In fact it could be one of the most significantly unfunny things you have ever seen.
[ Update – it has been pointed out to me that red was always the background color for the arches – they also used the same color scheme for the 2004 Greece Olympics so I’m not being fair here. ]

China is not a Communist country; it is in an extremely advanced form of Capitalism. Look on western world – it’s what we will become. I wont use the F-word because many people regard that as “taking things too far” but that’s what it is. If you think I’m talking about the word “Fuck”, you are so wrong.

You’ll know when it’s coming because you will be asked by your government to be “patriotic” and “vigilant”. You will also be warned about “terrorism”. When that happens you know you’re en route to the F-word.

P.S. if you were offended by my deliberate use of the word “chinamen” throughout this post, then you have a long and tedious future ahead of you that permanently involves missing the fucking point.