The bit between Christmas and New Year is strange in the UK. Nothing serious happens and business is conducted in the way we are always told life happens in remote Spanish villages: slowly and with a joyful lack of care…and lots of napping.

Christmas was cosy and lovely as it could have been with the exception of the traditional apocalyptic argument with my sister late on Boxing Day but the break is doing wonders for my health. And so much good food, drink and that. Pity I poured a glass of red wine over my sister’s cream carpet really.

There’s so much stuff to talk about and so little you’ll give a toss about…but that’s what blogs are all about really. Dump your brain onto the Internet every night and someone, somewhere, somewhen may find it useful or at least interesting. So leave now.

As I’ve got older the stroppy, intolerant side of my personality has matured into a really stroppy and really intolerant machine of hate. My first “proper” girlfriend told me about a conversation she’d had with her vicar/pastor/whatever that involved him telling her that you’ll never find someone you’re 100% in touch with and to stop looking. It always struck me as good advice (unlike the no-sex-before-marriage shit he normally purveyed), and whenever one of my friends has pissed me off for any reason since then, I clung to that advice and remembered it was natural, important even, that we disagree now and again. But nowadays I tend to just think “oh fuck it I can’t be bothered with this tedious cack.” Friendship isn’t supposed to be that hard. This attitude, when coupled with a judicious mixture of depression, intolerance and the enjoyment of sitting on my arse, in my flat, with my wife and parrot becomes quite dangerous. It’s really time we threw a spanner into our lifestyle engine and crunched it into a different form. Hopefully we’ll be living abroad soon.

But there are some things to look forward to. At the moment they are the idea of going to the Wickham Arms with Toby et al and then our impending trip to mexico to watch Alex get married! We’re pretty bloody excited about that last one let me tell you.