A friend of mine, Kauser, inadvertently introduced me to a really excellent word: Air. Not the noun that we all know and breath, but the verb.

Air vb.
To air is to ignore, dismiss or blank in an aloof or haughty manner.
Example:The next time I saw Britney she totally aired me man.

Well, the other day I got aired in the most nasty way imaginable by some 50-something woman who makes most of the uptight, straight, tosspots who populate my officeblock look like warm, friendly, hippies. I once made the mistake of trying to converse with her in front of the coffee machine, an act to which she responded with a dirisory sneer. The other day I held a door open for her and, as she walked through, she aired me with a look on her face which, when translated to English, said “that scruffy twat understands the concept of respect for his elders and betters then”. If I hadn’t found it so shocking I would have followed her back to her desk, opening every intervening door with the biggest cheesy grin I could muster. And then grinned as I shat on her keyboard. Much like Humphrey does.