Madness on the radio this morning – I can’t remember all of the outrageous rubbish, but two stay in mind:

• Some barmy woman who thinks smoking should be a criminal offence. No matter how much of a smoker or anti-smoker you are, it should be blindingly obvious that this is the most useless idea since the cavemen formed their first “blue sky thinking” commitee. Ever heard of prohibition ? Even if you haven’t, the idea of removing the massive amount of tax generated by fags and spending even more on enforcing another pointless law and filling up our prisons with yet more harmless people should really sound like a bad idea.
• The Zimbabwe minister for foreign relations. It’s pure fascism.

But work was pretty nice so that’s alright then. Nice drink at lunchtime and a nice chat with a student called Alex who had all kinds of scandalous info about the college management. Humph went into Tim’s cage today….little meanie…

The Staff Ball^H^H^H^Hparty was early this year. Early by normal work standards, late by capitalist standards. The joyless misery of “so here it is merry christmas”, “simply having a wonderful christmas time” and “ho ho ho it’s a magical snowy christmas wonderland for charity” being played in the opressivly brightly lit warehouse stores, has been with us for about 6 months now. But this year’s ball^H^H^H^Hparty was the best for years. There was a lot of speculation about why this should have been the case but it seems pretty obvious to me; it can’t be a coincidence that this was the first christmas party for years where they gave everyone a glass of “champagne” at the door.

Anyway – good fun. Dan and I walked home and realised that the best plan would be to lie down in the mud in hilly fields for a while and call Rakesh. Luckily he was awake, otherwise our demented chatter would have been recorded by his voicemail, encoded as MP3 and distributed all over the Internet by now.

Ooh – Humph is on his way out of the cage. I suspect he wants to go over and hassle Tim. Earlier on he caused a right kerfuffle(tm) and I was a bit pissed off with him. But after an evening of Tim eek, eek, bloody eeeking, I’m tempted to stand on his cage and crap….

Also – the word “property” should be banned from television. I thought makeover shows were bad but fucking bloody fucking property bastard bloody Daily Mail property programmes DIE DIE DIE.