Defeating the Ganglion

A ganglion is a small lump that forms on the hand or wrist. It’s harmless except that they can often hurt quite badly, and if they grow large then they can look really nasty. In the old, unenlightened times when people still believed in a god, they used to recommend hitting it with a bible. In fact I hear that the Kansas medical board have recently invested in several thousands of bibles for this and other medical cures. Oddly, this cure is supposed to work because the bible, being heavy, can smash the ganglion and disperse whatever it’s made of…ew

Years ago my mate Dave unintentionally grew a ganglion on his hand. It got so large and painful that it was interfering with his work, so he made an appointment with the hospital to have it removed. The weekend before the op we all ended up in Glastonbury (not during the festival) and thought it would be a good idea to climb the tor, despite the gale-force wind. We climbed up like excited schoolboys and by the time we reached the top I was genuinely worried about the prospect of being dragged off of the tor and on to the rocks at the bottom. It was really scary in a biblical sort of way. Anyway, once we’d reached the ground, Dave’s ganglion had totally disappeared! Cured by Glastonbury tor! He had to cancel the appointment and everything.

That was the last time I’d even considered ganglions until a couple of months ago, when a ganglion started to form on my wrist. It’s irritating rather than anything else and it tends to get in the way so I really wanted it to go. While I was on the phone to Michele earlier I told her it was irritating me and it brought to mind the old bible trick. Now, I do actually own a bible – I bought it in a dollar store in Philadelphia – but I thought I’d try the 21st century version. And besides, hard-disks are much heavier.

To cut a long story short: one quick thwack with a 150G Maxtor hard drive and it has totally gone! Maxtor be praised!


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