It seems that the last US census produced a load of Scotts! Without any warning America has been invaded with Scotsmen, who then killed the same number of yanks – that can be the only explanation for why so many suddenly appeared. To celebrate this massive invasion, which seemingly went unnoticed by the US DoD, a new TV channel is being launched called [cringe] “Tartan TV”. Now all these “Genuine Scotts(TM)” can enjoy real<\/i> “Scotch” culture by watching 24hr porridge-eating, caber-tossing and kilt-wearing competitions.<\/p>\n
I wonder if they will follow the example of the billions of “Genuine Irish” and open theme pubs:<\/p>\n
PLEASE WAIT HERE TO BE SEATED<\/p>\n
“Hi! My name’s Morag and I’ll be your waitress for this visit to McDougalls Genuine Scotch Pub. If there’s anything you want then please DINNAE be afraid to ask.
\nCan I interest you in any of our Genuine Scotch(TM) starters ? We have Scotch Oatmeal (with real Scotch Maple syrup and bluberries and a bonnie heather garnish)…etc ad nauseam….<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It seems that the last US census produced a load of Scotts! Without any warning America has been invaded with Scotsmen, who then killed the same number of yanks – that can be the only explanation for why so many suddenly appeared. To celebrate this massive invasion, which seemingly went unnoticed by the US DoD, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-958","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/958","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=958"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/958\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=958"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=958"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=958"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}