{"id":945,"date":"2002-07-20T09:26:49","date_gmt":"2002-07-20T09:26:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/bologs\/vng\/apple-computer-what-drugs-are-you-on\/"},"modified":"2002-07-20T09:26:49","modified_gmt":"2002-07-20T09:26:49","slug":"apple-computer-what-drugs-are-you-on","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/apple-computer-what-drugs-are-you-on\/","title":{"rendered":"Apple Computer: What drugs are you on ?"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2>Apple Computer: What drugs are you on ?<\/h2>\n<p>Sadly I suspect the answer is &#8216;coffee&#8217;. That can be the only explanation for the massive mood-swings from which you seem to be suffering. Perhaps a course of psychotropics would sort out your heads. Or perhaps some Lithium ?<\/p>\n<p>One minute you&#8217;re a bunch of friendly, creative techies who just want to make their loyal users lives better. Then suddenly you&#8217;re a corporate monster that makes Microsoft look like Christain Aid.<\/p>\n<p>Here are some examples:<br \/>\nApple: Hey man, we&#8217;ve put an Open Source Unix variant in our new OS and anyone can download it work on it and play with it. We just want to make you happy.<br \/>\nUsers: Nice one! This looks great! Powerful and Stable. I can&#8217;t wait to upgrade my OS9 machine.<br \/>\nApple: Upgrade ? Fuck you there&#8217;s no upgrade &#8211; buy it you cheap fucks.<br \/>\nUsers: Oh ok. Sorry. Well after all at least I&#8217;m not giving my money to Bill Gates &#8211; at least Apple is on our side.<br \/>\nApple: Yeah man &#8211; Don&#8217;t follow the breadhead fascists at Redmond &#8211; they&#8217;re like the man. Come with us! Look, see how all of the buttons look like jellybeans ?<br \/>\nUsers: Yeah they look cool. Oh hold on, this doesn&#8217;t work properly. Oh neither does this. Hmm, or this.<br \/>\nApple: Tough shit! You think writing this sort of OS is easy ? You ungrateful bastards. Keep using 9 if that&#8217;s the way you feel. Oh by the way, we&#8217;re dropping support for that soon. HAH!<br \/>\nUsers: but&#8230;but&#8230;but&#8230;<br \/>\nApple: Hey, don&#8217;t panic! 10.1 has fixed most of those bugs and we&#8217;ve got all sorts of cool extras like LDAP support and SMB is working nicely! Loads of people have been carbonising their apps so that all your favourites will work natively!<br \/>\nUsers: Yay! where do I sign up for the upgrade ?<br \/>\nApple: Fuck you! You want it, you pay the full price. Oh and it&#8217;s gone up too. You people make us sick!<\/p>\n<p>etc ad nauseam<\/p>\n<p>Apple &#8211; your biggest asset is a massive, blikeredly loyal, customer base who would continue buying your products even if they didn&#8217;t work at all. Even they will get pissed off and go elsewhere if you carry on like this.<\/p>\n<hr>\n<p>Tim evicted! Sadly he appears to be too stupid to realise why everyone hates him&#8230;and it&#8217;s not because he&#8217;s &#8220;older than his years&#8221;&#8230;COMPRAAAAWNDEZ ?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Apple Computer: What drugs are you on ? Sadly I suspect the answer is &#8216;coffee&#8217;. That can be the only explanation for the massive mood-swings from which you seem to be suffering. Perhaps a course of psychotropics would sort out your heads. Or perhaps some Lithium ? One minute you&#8217;re a bunch of friendly, creative [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-945","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/945","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=945"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/945\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=945"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=945"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=945"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}