{"id":542,"date":"2006-02-12T21:52:33","date_gmt":"2006-02-12T21:52:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/bologs\/vng\/brutal-murder\/"},"modified":"2006-02-12T21:52:33","modified_gmt":"2006-02-12T21:52:33","slug":"brutal-murder","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/brutal-murder\/","title":{"rendered":"Brutal murder"},"content":{"rendered":"

They say that killing gets easier the more you do it. Well if my recent mouse massacre is anything to go by then that expression is utter bollocks. We’re in a constant battle to keep the mice out of our flat and yes we’ve tried humane traps<\/a>. Since moving in here we’ve slain five of the furry little things and caught one, which we released and probably killed soon after he returned. If you’ve never had mice then you’re either very lucky or just wrong. They manifest themselves as a tiny flash in your peripheral vision…did I really see anything or was it some fluff in my eye ? The golden rule, as explained my grandmother-in-law, is “if you thought you saw one, you did”.
\nBut these ones have started getting cocky. They slowly walk across the room in front of you while you’re watching the telly. It’s like they call out “Evening! Don’t mind me, I’m just off to the kitchen for a snack. And to be honest I could do with a poo so I’ll kill two birds with one stone.”<\/p>\n

Finding one caught in the trap is bad enough, but twice now I’ve heard the trap shut and found the poor, beautiful little thing trapped by his neck, twitching. So what could I do ? Both times I’ve had to smash him with the dust brush to put him out of his misery and it’s doing my head in.<\/p>\n

Last night was the second occurence of this and it really bummed me out. But less than two hours later, as I was sitting watching Father Ted, another<\/i> mouse slowly walked by where I was sitting and I swear I heared him say “Careful mr tough guy, we know where you live” in a squeaky Brooklyn accent.<\/p>\n

\n

About a year ago, Zap and I decided to try and write a sitcom about a computer helpdesk. We made a crap start but it never got further than about half an episode. Imagine how overjoyed we were to see The IT crowd<\/a>….A comedy about an IT support team. Especially as it’s written by Graham Linehan and really funny. Satan pisses in my consommé once again.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

They say that killing gets easier the more you do it. Well if my recent mouse massacre is anything to go by then that expression is utter bollocks. We’re in a constant battle to keep the mice out of our flat and yes we’ve tried humane traps. Since moving in here we’ve slain five of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-542","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/542","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=542"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/542\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=542"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=542"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=542"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}