{"id":534,"date":"2006-03-21T22:26:33","date_gmt":"2006-03-21T22:26:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/bologs\/vng\/bastards\/"},"modified":"2006-03-21T22:26:33","modified_gmt":"2006-03-21T22:26:33","slug":"bastards","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/bastards\/","title":{"rendered":"Bastards"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Normal, worldly, people will fail to be excited about a documentary exposing estate agents as a bunch of lying, cheating, selfish, nasty, bastards. Everyone in the civilised world knows that surely? However tonight&#8217;s BBC1 programme &#8216;Whistleblower&#8217; demonstrated the problem with such simplicity and clarity that I can only encourage everyone to watch it, even if you know the truth already.<br \/>\nThey&#8217;re like lawyers &#8211; don&#8217;t play with them; they&#8217;re dirty and covered in germs.<\/p>\n<p>BTW &#8211; Expats, and any other people who like UK TV should set themselves up with accounts on <a href=\"http:\/\/www.uknova.com\/\" target=\"_new\">uknova.com<\/a>. They provide high-speed access to all of the brit-tv that isn&#8217;t available on DVD\/Video to those brits with broken videos, ex-pats and TV connaisseurs. This includes documentaries, soaps and just about everything else&#8230;.anyway<\/p>\n<p>They even provided me with links to a load of material from recently deceased comic hero <\/p>\n<h1><a href=\"http:\/\/www.chortle.co.uk\/comics\/lsmith.html\" target=\"_new\">Linda Smith<\/a><\/h2>\n<p>Even a fortnight after she died I&#8217;m still upset. If you don&#8217;t know the name then try to get hold of a few News Quiz, HIGNFY, or &#8220;A brief history of timewastings&#8221; because she was great.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p>Michele and I also watched Watchdog tonight and played PR bingo. Every week they slag-off businesses for their poor behaviour, practices and service. Every week some monkey ends up trying to defend the company. Fuck knows why. It&#8217;s not that persons fault. But they turn up and then read a string of trite cliches to the camera while we all sit at home thinking &#8220;you twat&#8221;. We came up with a list of things this week&#8217;s poor cow would have to deal with&#8230;it was a tough call because she was defending Parcel Force (a private spin-off of the recently privatised Royal Mail)&#8230;.the list we constructed included:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>Last year we delivered X million packages<\/li>\n<li>We&#8217;re constantly striving to improve our customer service<\/li>\n<li>Our business has increased X amount over Y years<\/li>\n<li>Look you fuckers it&#8217;s not my fault, we all know that our decision to employ anyone off the street who will accept our diabolical wages to do a skilled job was for money reasons. None of us like it but as long as we get our 30 pieces of silver we can&#8217;t complain and have to do our pointless jobs<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>Funnily enough we get about 20 points on  list item 1 and zero points on item 4.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p>A week ago I got hassled by some Eltham skallies. They yelled &#8220;Jesus!&#8221; and &#8220;Hip Hop rules&#8221; as I walked past, obviously because I looked like the messiah and clearly love heavy metal&#8230;. I was on the phone at the time and didn&#8217;t have the opportunity to tell them that not only was I an atheist but I was also going to hip-hop concerts before they were twinkles in their daddies&#8217; hogs-eyes. Pity. Mind you when I was their age I did exactly the same thing to people walking past.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Normal, worldly, people will fail to be excited about a documentary exposing estate agents as a bunch of lying, cheating, selfish, nasty, bastards. Everyone in the civilised world knows that surely? However tonight&#8217;s BBC1 programme &#8216;Whistleblower&#8217; demonstrated the problem with such simplicity and clarity that I can only encourage everyone to watch it, even if [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-534","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/534","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=534"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/534\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=534"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=534"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=534"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}