{"id":471,"date":"2006-11-08T15:52:40","date_gmt":"2006-11-08T15:52:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/bologs\/vng\/santorum\/"},"modified":"2006-11-08T15:52:40","modified_gmt":"2006-11-08T15:52:40","slug":"santorum","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/santorum\/","title":{"rendered":"Santorum"},"content":{"rendered":"

[Don’t read this if you are eating or have a weak stomach]<\/b>
\nSantorum<\/a> got shafted by Bob Casey Jr during the last night’s American renaissance. This makes me feel a lot better about our impending move. To counter this nice feeling, and staying on the subject of Santorum<\/a>, I had another visit to the hospital today. This time it was an investigation into a recent eruption of piles – well pile singular in fact but who cares – so as you can imagine I was thrilled to bits at the prospect. <\/p>\n

Over the past few years I’ve had to get my pants off for more doctors and nurses than is healthy outside of a “Confessions” film plot; but even so, piles examinations are a little too intimate and embarrassing for me to cope with as quotidian. Fortunately the name of the doc on my chitty was “Mr E Larch” and so I felt slightly less awkward in the build up to the treatment.<\/p>\n

However, maybe it’s the water in Lewisham but it would seem that the arse section of Lewisham Hospital is snowed under with patients these days and so instead of “Mr E Larch” I was dealt with by some young female doctor who looked not a day over 19. <\/p>\n

The whole experience was too horrific for even me to document but if you want a vague insight into the scene, imagine lying on your side, facing the wall, and having a young woman, an older male and another student sticking fingers and objects of various lengths up your arse so high that it feels like they’re going to choke you.<\/p>\n

I left my dignity at the hospital gates and instead walked out with two future appointments, hideous flashbacks, and an enema kit. <\/p>\n

Choose Lewisham? My arse…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[Don’t read this if you are eating or have a weak stomach] Santorum got shafted by Bob Casey Jr during the last night’s American renaissance. This makes me feel a lot better about our impending move. To counter this nice feeling, and staying on the subject of Santorum, I had another visit to the hospital […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-471","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/471","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=471"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/471\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=471"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=471"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=471"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}