{"id":462,"date":"2006-11-30T22:02:09","date_gmt":"2006-11-30T22:02:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/bologs\/vng\/the-emperors-new-visual-identity\/"},"modified":"2006-11-30T22:02:09","modified_gmt":"2006-11-30T22:02:09","slug":"the-emperors-new-visual-identity","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/the-emperors-new-visual-identity\/","title":{"rendered":"The Emperor&#8217;s New Visual Identity"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Once upon a time there was an Emperor who was a bit crap. One day he had a thought: &#8220;what if I were to be rebranded ? Maybe people would take me more seriously and perhaps I&#8217;d be less crap.&#8221;<br \/>\nSo the Emperor called the finest consultants in the land and gave them a ludicrous amount of his wealth. The consultants returned in 6 months with a small piece of fag packet, onto which was scrawled a badly drawn crown and the phrase &#8220;B0 Emperor!&#8221;. The Emperor was furious when he saw how little they had produced in return for his great wealth and ordered the guards to kill the consultants.<br \/>\n&#8220;No your highness,&#8221; pleaded the consultants, &#8220;this is no ordinary logo! It&#8217;s a magic logo! It will make everyone in the land respect you except for the very, very foolish.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>You know the rest so I won&#8217;t bother to continue.<\/p>\n<p>On a totally different topic, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.gold.ac.uk\/rebrand\/\" target=\"_new\">Goldsmiths College has recently been rebranded<\/a> and they have a glorious new logo: <br clear=\"all\" \/><center><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"media\/b99a62-150-pos.gif\" class=\"illustration\" alt=\"Goldsmiths' new, familiar looking logo\" \/><br clear=\"all\" \/><\/center>But it&#8217;s <a href=\"http:\/\/www.gold.ac.uk\/rebrand\/\" target=\"_new\">more than just a logo!<\/a> It&#8217;s a new visual identity! At this point I feel I should stress that just because it&#8217;s the same as the previous logo, but in a different font, and cost &pound;143,000 ($224,000), doesn&#8217;t mean it&#8217;s an obvious fucking con. It also doesn&#8217;t mean that the management there are a bunch of pig-ignorant dullards who don&#8217;t know their arses from their elbows.<br \/>\nAll I&#8217;m saying is, if I were to be put in charge of rebranding, I&#8217;d want something more impressive like this:<br clear=\"all\" \/><center><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"media\/goldsmithspimp.gif\" alt=\"Goldsmiths in sparkling gold\" class=\"illustrated\" \/><br clear=\"all\" \/><\/center>But that&#8217;s because I&#8217;ve been getting into PimpZilla a bit too much&#8230;and <a href=\"http:\/\/www.google.com\/search?q=goldamp\" target=\"_new\">GoldAmp<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Once upon a time there was an Emperor who was a bit crap. One day he had a thought: &#8220;what if I were to be rebranded ? Maybe people would take me more seriously and perhaps I&#8217;d be less crap.&#8221; So the Emperor called the finest consultants in the land and gave them a ludicrous [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-462","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/462","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=462"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/462\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=462"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=462"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=462"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}