{"id":424,"date":"2007-04-12T23:22:05","date_gmt":"2007-04-12T23:22:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/bologs\/vng\/5-years-of-bollocks-slockog\/"},"modified":"2007-04-12T23:22:05","modified_gmt":"2007-04-12T23:22:05","slug":"5-years-of-bollocks-slockog","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/5-years-of-bollocks-slockog\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Years of Bollocks : s\/lock\/og\/"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Michele was convinced that it was Humphrey&#8217;s &#8220;official&#8221; birthday tomorrow and in order to &#8220;officially&#8221; verify it we turned to our normal source of personal historical information: this blog. Michele was a month out on her assertion, but after reading a few nostalgia-inducing entries I realised that this blog has recently passed its <a href=\"?vm=1\" target=\"_new\">5 year anniversary!<\/a> Five years I&#8217;ve been writing bollocks to no-one and on reflection it seems even more worthwhile than I could have imagined. If you don&#8217;t have a blog, then <a href=\"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/\" target=\"_new\">start one!<\/a> It&#8217;s good and everything.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p>Over the past few days I&#8217;ve been getting hangups on my mobile phone from an 0161 number and it&#8217;s been getting right on my tits. The phone ringing at all is a pain in the arse these days, but ringing from Manchester, where I know <i>no-one<\/i>, and then hanging up as I answer is more than I can deal with.<br \/>\nToday, in the office, I managed to answer it in time. The conversation went like this:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Caller: Hello Mr W*******, My name&#8217;s Monkeygirl and I&#8217;m calling from HappySlapUK, an Orange business partner&#8230;<\/li>\n<li>Me (angrily): <b>Don&#8217;t ever call me again!<\/b><\/li>\n<li>Caller: Par&#8230;<\/li>\n<li>Me (as before): <b>Don&#8217;t call me again! I&#8217;ve had loads of calls  from you over the past few days and every time I pick up you ring off and it&#8217;s a <i>pain in the arse!<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n<li>Caller (sheepishly): Sorry Mr W******** I&#8217;ll make sure your number is removed from the list.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I hang up.<\/p>\n<p>Now, I know I was wrong to have a go at this poor girl, it wasn&#8217;t her fault (probably), but that pisses me right off; selling my number to some bunch of crooks who harass me all week in an attempt to sell me something that I&#8217;m not even eligible for in the first place&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Tom, a work colleague who had overheard one half of the conversation, touched me on the shoulder compassionately and asked,<br \/>\n&#8220;was that your mum ?&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Michele was convinced that it was Humphrey&#8217;s &#8220;official&#8221; birthday tomorrow and in order to &#8220;officially&#8221; verify it we turned to our normal source of personal historical information: this blog. Michele was a month out on her assertion, but after reading a few nostalgia-inducing entries I realised that this blog has recently passed its 5 year [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-424","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/424","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=424"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/424\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=424"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=424"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=424"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}