{"id":374,"date":"2007-09-05T22:56:37","date_gmt":"2007-09-05T22:56:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/bologs\/vng\/death-of-a-worthy-adversary\/"},"modified":"2007-09-05T22:56:37","modified_gmt":"2007-09-05T22:56:37","slug":"death-of-a-worthy-adversary","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/death-of-a-worthy-adversary\/","title":{"rendered":"Death of a worthy adversary"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Regular readers will know that over the past couple of years we have been <a href=\"http:\/\/www.fatsquirrel.org\/bologs\/veghead\/index.php?qsearch=mouse\" target=\"_new\">battling with mice.<\/a><br \/>\nRecently, despite a significant number of murders, I have given up the battle. Our current foe is clearly Mighty Mouse and deserving of some respect. His superpowers have enabled him to:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Avoid all traps, both humane and evil.<\/li>\n<li>Take the food off of traps both humane and evil.<\/li>\n<li>Ignore the ridiculous amount of yummy poison we&#8217;ve sprinkled about the place.<\/li>\n<li>Managed to break into every full trash bag we place on the kitchen floor within ten minutes.<\/li>\n<li>Run by me three or four times a day, just to irritate me.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>We were all ready to leave a congratulatory note, a lump of food, a Barbie glass of wine and a little cigar for him until last night. As usual he was running around as if we weren&#8217;t there and then going for a shit in the kitchen. But, last night I realised how he was hiding from me. To cut a long story short, I killed him with my fist. I&#8217;m not proud of killing the poor, beautiful, little thing, but it had started feeling like an elaborate strategy game, and I had to go for checkmate when the opportunity arose.<br \/>\nThe idea that he was still alive and suffering is something I can&#8217;t bare so, to ensure his quick demise, I took him into the kitchen and hit the bag he was in with an old wine bottle, which broke into a thousand pieces on the floor. As I was clearing them up I cut my finger which means <i>the little bastard drew blood from me after he died!<\/i> Mousey, I salute you and apologise for taking your life. <\/p>\n<p>The ambivalence and catharsis I experienced after killing the tiny, helpless little, chap, soon turned to guilt &#8211; especially when Michele discovered a tiny mouse in the humane trap later today. Maybe baby mouse looking for daddy who was due home hours ago&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>The guilt is awful but I suppose nature is like that. He was shitting in our food! We let the little one go in a nearby park. Good luck mate.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Regular readers will know that over the past couple of years we have been battling with mice. Recently, despite a significant number of murders, I have given up the battle. Our current foe is clearly Mighty Mouse and deserving of some respect. His superpowers have enabled him to: Avoid all traps, both humane and evil. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-374","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/374","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=374"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/374\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=374"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=374"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=374"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}