{"id":19,"date":"2013-03-31T22:31:34","date_gmt":"2013-03-31T22:31:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/bologs\/vng\/the-law-is-a-ass\/"},"modified":"2013-03-31T22:31:34","modified_gmt":"2013-03-31T22:31:34","slug":"the-law-is-a-ass","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fatsquirrel.org\/oldfartsalmanac\/the-law-is-a-ass\/","title":{"rendered":"The Law is a Ass"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Law (noun) has taken pride of place in my cabinet of things that are responsible for everything wrong in the world. It is a large oak 18th century corner cabinet with mirrored backs and a glass front. One day I’ll take a photo for you.
\nMost people consider The Law (or more usually “Law and Order” – a terrible misnomer) a good thing, but that is simply propaganda from the lawmakers and the people who benefit directly from The Law. Kafka wrote a typically surreal and insightful short story about The Law which is well worth reading: Before The Law<\/a>.<\/p>\n

So here is some advice from the little I have learned when dealing with The Law personally and second-hand; regardless I believe it to be true. Hopefully it will help if you ever have to deal with lawyers, the police or the man.<\/p>\n

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  1. Be co-operative without co-operating. Do not answer legal letters unless they have proof you received them – e.g. a signed delivery to you or by being “served”. They hate that and eventually give up; it costs a lot to send a human being after you – and unless they can actually connect with you, there’s no guarantee you got the message.<\/li>\n
  2. Never refuse<\/i> to co-operate! In fact assure your agressors that you wish to help 100%. Direct refusal is recognizable by The Law; laziness, forgetfulness, ennui and general crapness are not.<\/li>\n
  3. Don’t be scared by their scare tactics! Just because an envelope comes by UPS\/FedEX express and contains a bunch of legal sounding threats does not mean it has any legal value at all. Lawyers are good at scaring people. Don’t be scared. 99% of it is legally useless bluster. They rely on scared people contacting them. Non-cooperation costs the lawyers’ clients more money.<\/li>\n
  4. If you do<\/i> have to deal with the lawyers then for the love of His Noodly Appendage<\/a> don’t do it in writing! Phone them! You may even get legal tips from your agressors lawyers that end up costing your agressor! Getting recorded phone-calls submitted to court is still a surprisingly difficult business.<\/li>\n
  5. Always remember the golden rule when dealing with The Law – if you have<\/i> to say something, say nothing<\/b>.<\/li>\n
  6. Ignore the advice of lawyers, in general. They will tell you that what I suggest is illegal while missing the irony of their advice. They get paid by the hour – longer periods of agression are good for them. They don’t want it to end. if you’re not paying, don’t worry about it.<\/ol>\n

    Further “reading”:<\/p>\n