"All data is illegal - all you need is the appropriate one time pad"
-- AMAN, 25 September 1998

The RIP Act 2000 - Exposed

The Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act became law in the UK in the year 2000. There two things which make this one of the most important pieces of law ever passed.
  1. It is probably the most inhumane fascistic law ever passed in the UK. One of the highlights is that anyone in the UK can be imprisoned for non-disclosure of a key to some data, even if there is no proof that that you ever knew the key or that the data requires a key!
  2. Most of the UK population have never heard of it.
If you've never heard of it then you can find out more about the RIPA here.

But NOW!

We have proof that the law itself is in fact illegal pornographic filth! Yes, the government weren't content with just removing human rights from the British public, they wanted to rub our noses in it well and truly. So, the evil cynical bastards cunningly formed an act of parliament that was also an encrypted version of some filthy,dirty pornography involving pictures of young women performing lewd, degrading and downright disgusting acts.

Hard to believe ?

We have PROOF!

Firstly you need to be aware of the concept of a One Time Pad.

Whilst being extremely simple, it's a pure and unbreakable form of cryptography. The above link contains the following one-line perl script by John Allen which actually implements a one-time pad:

open P,shift;read(P,$p,length),print $_^$p while<>
Copy and paste it into a file (call it 'otp.pl' say), and then you can use it by typing:
perl otp.pl pad <cleartext >ciphertext
This will, if you have perl installed, take a plain un-encrypted file (called "cleartext") and encrypt it with a pad (called "pad") to produce an encrypted version (called "ciphertext").

To decrypt "ciphertext" just type:

perl otp.pl pad <ciphertext >cleartext

Uncovering the Dirty Porn

Imagine how shocked we were when we dicovered that decrypting the RIP act with three specific pads produced disgusting filthy pr0n.

To see the results of our tests you will need a copy of the RIP act.

Use the one at FIPR here:

Then use the opt.pl script, described above, to decrypt the act with one of the following pads:

PadResulting Disgusting Image
pad1 pic1.jpg
pad2 pic2.jpg
pad3 pic3.jpg
by typing:
perl otp.pl pad1 <ripa2000.htm >pic1.jpg
View the resulting hardcore pictures in your favourite picture viewer.
If the RIP act worries you and makes you feel you will never be free then have a look at some of the following excellent sites: << More random junk